He Really Knows How to Pull a Cork

The best of Ralph Wiggum

(via onlylolgifs)

tinycartridge:

They ask him what he do and who he do it for

And how he come up with this shit up in the studio

PREORDER Animal Crossing: New Leaf, Prima's AC:NL official game guide, upcoming games

allmannerofnerdery:

Stairway to heaven

NOE releases F-Zero at 60hz in Europe

morebees:

Sacrilege.

I still remember the first day I owned a Super Nintendo. I was with my grandmother in Canberra, and we went into the DJ’s at Woden Plaza where they had a demo setup playing F-Zero. We ended up leaving with Super Mario World and F-Zero. It was a good day.

I didn’t bring much with me from Australia to the US, but I still have my original SNES controller here. It was a Big Deal in my growth as a person. Super Mario World was one of those games that turned me into a designer. It’s in my top 5. F-Zero, through no fault of its own, turned me into the jaded husk of a man I am today.

See, I was really good at F-Zero. Specifically, Mute City - I had that track down on lock. Anything above 2:51 was a terrible time, and I could usually break 2:50 on good runs. All of my schoolmates who challenged me were defeated. I was a golden god, until the American exchange student came to town.

I don’t even remember his name now. I just remember standing outside our classroom, and the topic of conversation moved to F-Zero. I bragged about my 2:49 lap times. Then, that goddamn seppo dropped his line.

“What? That’s a terrible time. My best is 2:32”

Even worse, he had verification from other kids who’d seen him do it. I was basically nobody now. I practiced and practiced, but never figured out how he was shaving off that much time. I’m skipping some details, but this story ends with me changing schools and never mentioning F-Zero again.

A decade later, Super Nintendo emulation becomes feasible. For old times sake, I grab a F-Zero ROM and play. I’m obviously rusty.

I get a time in the 2:30s. That goddamned asshole. Of course he got a faster time, his dumb imported purple console was 17.5% faster than all of ours. What a goddamned fucking hack on a pogo stick! If I translated my time, I would have completely smoked him! GodDAMMIT! WHAT A FUCKING HACK.

I still can’t remember this guy’s name, but every year or so I try googling around to see if I can finally get revenge. I never do.

Now, Nintendo of Europe has the balls to side with this guy, and whitewash all of the victorious lap times that us non-yanks achieved. This is our thanks for sticking by you when you didn’t release Animal Crossing? This is our thanks for being stuck with Doshin the Giant instead of Earthbound?!

Sacrilege.

Go to this website.

finding-my-whoever:

brilovesbands:

whyarentibritish:

ishipwaytomuch:

saturnine-martial-lunatic:

And click “I am under 21.”

THIS IS THE BEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN

just do it

OH MY FUCKING GOD

OMG I CAN’T STOP LAUGHING HELP

OMG!  SOMEONE SPREAD THIS EVERYWHERE

(via elizabethbanner)

Testing Instagram > Tumblr > Twitter integrations

Lazy Christmas Puppers is lazy.

The 1990’s, distilled into a single 30 second video.

Brule

kierongillen:

The teaser for McKelvie and my own story in POINT ONE in October.

I literally can’t say any more now.

But you’ll like this one.

I couldn’t care less about Marvel Universe books right now, but OH SHIT!

Patriotism would only cost you $30 this weekend. (Taken with Instagram at Croswell Fairgrounds)

The only good touchscreen-based game ever made, finally available for Android! (Taken with Instagram)

Nexus 7 front-facing camera Bunk test (Taken with Instagram)

Su-weet Butterfly (Taken with Instagram at Independence Oaks County Park)

Doing Dawg Stuffs (Taken with Instagram at Independence Oaks County Park)